Walking in faith

 Let's hear it! We all had a vision - a great grand plan for our lives and then life comes and ruins it!

How dare it?!

But lately I've been thinking I've grown and healed and gotten in touch with myself on a new level that makes me feel more connected and authentic. 

I used to hate emotions. Still do. Especially the negative ones! They are the worst. I've been through some trauma and feeling it is so hard - that pain comes and goes. Sometimes it feels neverending. You can't do much about it except feel it but I see a therapist to help me process everything and she said you can distract yourself from the pain as well by taking baths, watching TV, listening to music. But sometimes the pain is so loud that nothing helps and all you can do is cry. 

So why am I writing this post? Bc I'm on a freaking journey of trusting God and trusting myself again. I recently got laid off and have been traveling to keep myself busy and content, however what I've noticed is that happiness is a fleeting moment. I think we've been lied to that happiness is a choice. I don't think it is. We all have emotions and we rarely have that happy emotion. It usually goes like happy, sad, angry, blah and then REPEAT. Am I not right? Tell me I am. 

So my question is what truly keeps us going, don't you wonder? Not having a job or much money there has to be something that keeps us going. Maybe its faith in a high power, maybe its purpose, maybe it's meaning. Cause when we've been through something tragic (and sadly we all have) we need something to hold onto to have a life again. At least that's what I think. 

Come back again for more exploration  and add your comments if you please!